What a difference a year makes
10 years ago
Monday, June 22, 2009
I have a FAT head!
No matter how much weight I have lost it is hard to lose the weight in my brain. My friends tell me I am looking tiny! WTF? I still see the same old fat me. When does a persons brain start to lose the weight? My brain wants to hold on to that excess baggage like a mirage. The mirage of the past is still shimmering in my minds eye. Even as I pull on my size 10 jeans, the shimmering mirage just sees the fat. When does the mirage vanish? When can my FAT head accept that the fat is gone and gone forever? When I was at my heaviest I never could understand the skinny beeoocches who cried "FAT" as they put on their size 10 jeans. I thought they were nuts!! They were just digging for compliments but alas here I am one of "THOSE" girls. Now people kid me about only eating a half a cracker with a schmere...and I just think they are crazy because I have a "FAT" head!! What size must I be before I think "thin"??
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2 comments:
I so agree with you. My brain will not let me believe the compliments I hear. I always blow it off or laugh self consciously. I am working on it though. My brain has stopped with the binge eating idea as I get too sick and can't do it any longer! One step at a time!
I think maybe keeping photo reminders around of where we came from and where we are now might help? Hence the digital picture frame I got you for Christmas -- so you can see the transformation before your eyes.
Because you're right, our eyes are very tricky. MINE tell me, after losing 60 pounds, that I look better than I do when I catch a glimpse of myself in a window as I pass by or in a photo. It's very disheartening to see this HUMONGOUS person there, even though my legs and arms are now the size of small trees rather than full-grown tree trunks. ;)
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